Over My Dead Body: How to Stop Millennials from Straying from the Church

Trending Topic: #JustinBieber

Justin Bieber. What a way to start a blog! Never fear. We won’t discuss the pop singer in any depth. But he’s a good illustration of what I want to say…

The singer of my own generation was trending this week. No surprise, he’s always trending—mostly for bad reasons. A little while ago it was actually a good thing—he said that he wanted to “honestly live like Jesus.” However, his definition of “living like Jesus” must be different from the Biblical definition because not a few weeks later (this past week) he was trending because inappropriate photos surfaced of him relaxing on vacation in a Caribbean island with a girlfriend who’s a model. I wish I had never even heard of such vile, worldly information—but alas, in my search for a trending topic to discuss on my blog, I encountered the story. Shudder!

Don’t think I’m turning this into a celebrity gossip site. I cite that story to illustrate my broader point. Think about Justin Bieber’s life story (but not too for too long). Apparently, he grew up with at least a Christian mother. Perhaps he even went to church in Canada. But something happened along the way. And now, his attendance at church and his Christian actions in general are as sagging as his pants. Why? Well, I can’t read his mind (and don’t really want to), but I may suggest one cause. One factor that may have led to Justin’s “fall” from Christianity.

Justin was mentored by a worldly mentor. After some initial YouTube success, he was taken under the wing of a famous fellow singer who mentored the young boy…and drew him into a world so evil that it choked the life out of whatever Christian beliefs he had.

I wonder what would have happened if Justin had had a similar mentor—but one that came from a Christian background. Someone from perhaps a church in Canada—a youth pastor, a godly older man or college student, who took him under his wing to teach him Scriptural principles. What would’ve been Justin’s story if he was mentored by a Christian instead of a celebrity?

Justin’s story has become too many millennials’ stories. I’ve heard—and even seen—it happen over and over again in our churches. A young man or woman goes off to college and goes off the deep end. They abandon the church for a fraternity or faithless friends who seem so much “cooler” or “caring” than any of the Christians they know. They term all church-goers as “hypocrites” and engage in all the hype of hipster culture. They leave parents and pastors with broken hearts, wondering what caused these seemingly “perfect” kids to stray from the faith.

I can tell you one big reason. As a millennial, I feel very strongly that one of the key reasons my generation is leaving the church is because of a lack of godly mentors. I feel so strongly about this fact that I wrote a whole three-month long blog series about it entitled “Mentoring Millennials.” I won’t rehash all the stuff I hammered away there, but I think the subject is so crucial to our current Christian climate that it deserves a second reading. It deserves the attention of every member of the older generation. It’s become one of my all-compelling passions in life…

In fact, I feel so compelled by this topic that I want this verse to define my life: “Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all” (Phil. 2:17). This is Paul (no surprise) writing to the Philippians while in prison. And he says he cares so much for their spiritual well-being that he will be willing to be “poured out” like a drink offering in order to see them saved and continuing in their faith. He wanted to mentor these people with the intensity of a professional sports player—he wanted to “leave it all out on the field.” Give up all in order to see people saved and matured.

Or, to put his words another way, he wanted them to leave the faith only “over my dead body.” That’s the mentor’s call. If young people are going to leave the church, let them! But in order to do so, they should have to run over a dedicated mentor who they know loves them and has invested countless hours into their spiritual life. No, you shouldn’t physically bar the doors of the church (fire hazard!). But as an analogy, be the door that a millennial has to push through to leave the church. Force them to shoot you down to get out. If they stray from the faith, let them have to not only abandon their parents, their church, and their childhood…but also abandon a dedicated and loving mentor.

People WILL stray from the faith. That we cannot help. People left the Philippian church—Paul is perhaps writing about such people in Philippians 3:18-19. And Paul wept over them! He did all he could to keep people like Demas from loving the world and leaving the worship of God. We can’t help it. But if young people are going to leave the church, let it be over our “dead bodies.” Let our lives be so invested into them with spiritual wisdom and quality time and godly advice and Scriptural principles and Spirit-led living…so that when they leave, they have to rip out part of their lives out in the process! And even, rip out part of ours…

It’s hard. But it’s worth it. Souls are worth it!

Ministry is not about preaching in front of thousands, being a well-known Christian blogger or evangelist, having the leadership positions. All these things aren’t necessarily bad—in fact, the Bible commands us to preach the Word in a church context. But no doubt Justin heard many sermons in his lifetime. And he still walked away. But did he have a one-on-one mentor?

It took me three long years, but I think God has finally drilled it into me. A lot more ministry happens over a cup of coffee in one-on-one conversations than happens from the church pulpit.

Ministry is about people, not positions.

Ministry is about people—and yes, people are messy! Especially immature millennials—like myself! But don’t let that intimidate you. The threat of rejection and the messiness of humanity didn’t stop Christ from stepping into our mess—and dying for it! So let’s step into the lives of those around us and INVEST. Mentor. Be the person in a young person’s life that stands between them and the world and shouts, “Christ is better!”

Maybe then we can avoid more millennials becoming like Justin Bieber.

-M@

The Good Confession

Tip #13: Inspire Them (1 Tim. 6:11-16).

Flee! Run! “Fly, you fools!” Whatever it takes, get out of here! Make like a tree and leave. It’s time to blow this popsicle stand! But at the same time—stand and fight. Don’t give a single foot to the enemy. Brace yourselves like men…fight with everything you’ve got!

That’s the contrast Paul presents in the closing part of 1 Timothy. He’s launched into a discussion of the temptations of the rich—how the “love of money” ruins every part of our lives. After this brief section, he’ll continue to discuss that. But he takes a break, a divine rabbit trail to inspire his young mentee.

First, he says to flee “these things”—the riches of the world and the desire for them. Instead, he urges him to pursue the good stuff of life. He tells him to flee, but he also tells him not to flee but to fight for his faith. Run away from the bad, but at the same time stand and fight for the truth. He’s speaking like a coach to a player—“Go! Run harder, faster, farther!” Like the man whispering to the boxer in the ring—“Go for his weak spot! Don’t give up!” Sometimes it sounds less harsh and more like my sister the personal trainer—“It’s okay—don’t give up!”

That’s what the mentor should do. Be that coach, that personal trainer. It’s called inspiration. Help them catch the vision of the ministry. Yes, as we’ve already discussed, the ministry is sometimes difficult and downright depressing. But it still is glorious. It’s amazing to see a soul changed from darkness to light. To see your own heart become more and more in love with the Creator as you minister His Word. To preach passionately. To see miracles and moments you’ll never forget. You’ve got to inspire a love and a passion for that in your mentee.

Paul wrote in 1 Timothy 6:12, “Fight the good fight of the faith. Take hold of the eternal life to which you were called and about which you made the good confession in the presence of many witnesses.” Timothy had made a confession to serve Christ—Paul told him to continue in it. No matter how violent Ephesus got or how many death threats were in his inbox, Timothy was to continue confessing Christ as Lord.

And Paul gives him a military-like charge in the next verses: “I charge you in the presence of God, who gives life to all things, and of Christ Jesus, who in his testimony before Pontius Pilate made the good confession, to keep the commandment unstained and free from reproach until the appearing of our Lord Jesus Christ…”

The good confession. Never stop confessing it. Never sway from its truths. Why? Because He’s coming back. He is the Sovereign of the world—King of Kings and Lord of Lords. Immortal. Dwelling in unapproachable light. Unseen. “To him be honor and eternal dominion. Amen.” Paul’s reached a climax in his mentoring relationship. He has a benediction charging Timothy to keep serving God no matter what comes.

You need that benediction moment with your mentee. Eventually, you’ll have to set him loose and see him go out into the wild world. Paul had to do it. He had to send Timothy on missions by himself and trust him. And he even had to station him in one of the largest assemblies in one of the largest cities of the ancient world. But he never lost contact. He kept writing him, reminding him of what he taught him and what Timothy had already done…and what he could continue to do in the power of God.

Never give up mentoring. Yes, you’ll see one go off to college or seminary or get married and move away—hopefully even to a faraway place to spread the Gospel that you taught them! But start again with a new person. At the same time, don’t lose contact with your Timothy. Maybe one day you can have dozens of Timothy all around the world and be writing your own epistles to them to inspire them to keep going (albeit not God-inspired—sorry).

At the same time, I hope this series has inspired YOU, the Xer or Boomer. Inspired you about the need of mentors for young men like myself. It’s pretty sad when I talk to guys my age and look at my own life and we can’t say we have an older ministry guy that is our mentor. Someone to whom we can confess our struggles and get advice. We appreciate every effort—every coffee conversation or office visit. But we want more. We want a Paul. We know it’s hard for busy guys like you all. But we long for it—we even pray for it daily.

Will you be the answer to our prayers? Please, we’re begging you. Don’t let another week go by without scheduling a meal with one of us. We’re looking straight to you—can you provide us the inspiration for the ministry, so we in turn can become the Pauls to the generations to come?

-M@

Relationship Status

Tip #12: Move On (1 Tim. 4:10).

Contrary to popular opinion, millennials aren’t perfect. Yes, we have the infallible Siri and the all-wise Google. When we get lost, we have a GPS on our smart phones. When we get bored, we have endless games, songs, and movie gossip sites (did you hear the latest on the new Marvel movie?). When we get upset, we have…well, not much actually (besides that too-often-unused Bible app). But for most of the issues of life, we have access to information and entertainment at the touch of a…well, screen. Even a button is out-of-date these days!

But for all our technological advancements, we have not gotten past the encroachment of darkness. Believe it or not, all young people still sin (I heard that amen)—just like their parents and grandparents, in fact! And this means that your mentee may let you down. You’ll, at some point or another, be disappointed at his progress, be discouraged at his lack of enthusiasm, or be stunned by his secret sin that’s not so secret anymore.

After all, as we referenced last week, Paul certainly was. Back in 2 Timothy 4:10, we read, “For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica.”

Has your mentee packed up bags and headed out for Thessalonica? Has he done this while you were imprisoned by a vicious emperor who was slaughtering Christians for sport? Demas was “in love with this present world.” Unfortunately, I feel that describes my generation. I know too many millennials who have forsaken the church because they fell in love with worldly entertainment, worldly music, or worldly friends—or more-than-friends. They’ve updated their Facebook status—“in a relationship with: the World.”

Don’t be surprised when this happens with one of your millennial mentees. It’s bound to occur, given the overwhelming data. It seems we GUBs (growing up believers) aren’t true to that last letter all the time—many of us have fallen from the faith when we’ve reached college.

How can you, as a mentor, stop this? Well, for one, just by being a mentor! If a millennial feels like he belongs to a church, that he’s loved and cared for by its leaders—that he has potential for Christ—he is much less likely to slip away from the faith. Perhaps this is one of the reasons so many are departing—are we really personally investing in them? Or do they feel like they’re just another pew-sitter?

But despite all your efforts, no doubt some will still leave the church—slipping right through a mentor’s fingers! And it’s in those moments that you feel burned. You invested all this time into a guy, sacrificed time and sanity to train him in the Word…and yet he turns his back on it all. So much for mentoring! What good is it if the mentees head for Thessalonica the first chance they get!?

Ministers and mentors are getting burned by young people all the time. As we mentioned earlier, this contributes to a lack of trust in young people which in turn leads to a lack of ministry opportunities available to young people which leads eventually to their leaving the church altogether. All because one millennial burned out the pastor and his fellow leaders. Let me implore you—DON’T FALL INTO THIS ENDLESS CYCLE.

Yes, you will get burned. But don’t get burned out! Don’t keep all the young people out of your ministry because one young man betrayed your trust. Be careful setting parameters as to where young men interested in the ministry can serve. Yes, there are scandals that can occur if you let them serve—but with proper caution and thorough vetting, the major scandals can be mostly avoided…without having to drive interested millennials out of ministry opportunities.

Stop the cycle. When you experience a Demas, don’t give up! As we millennials say when experiencing a bad break-up, just “move on.” No, don’t move on from millennials altogether. But move on to the next millennial. Find a new one and pray every day that he will be a Timothy…not a Demas.

-M@

Pitiful

Tip #11: Prepare Them (2 Tim. 4:6-18).

“Aw, you poor thing!” These are the words of a candy-prone grandma seeing her darling grandchild get punished for eating too many sweets. These are the words of a doting pet owner when they find their dog’s head caught in the toilet seat. Or the cry of the mother when she sees her toddler get one scrape. It’s the catchphrase of pity. I like to say it differently—“How pitiful!” Now, some people get onto me for saying that. They think I mean that the person is pathetic or helpless or should’ve known better. But if that were the case, I would’ve used those words. Instead, I mean they’re literally “pitiful”—I’m full of pity for them because they have received unfair treatment by someone…or just by life itself.

You see, life is not one to show much pity. Life doesn’t play fair or give it to you easy. Life…stinks. Trust me, I just finished my first full week of classes for my senior year of college—yep, life ain’t no bed of roses! And sometimes, we all need someone to take pity on us.

Paul knew that well. I was nearly moved to tears reading 2 Timothy 4. This is likely Paul’s final written words recorded in Scripture. He’s about to be killed—he’s likely sitting in a Roman prison awaiting his head to come off. And worse yet, he’s practically alone. Listen to his sad state of affairs: “Do your best to come to me soon. For Demas, in love with this present world, has deserted me and gone to Thessalonica. Crescens has gone to Galatia, Titus to Dalmatia. Luke alone is with me. Get Mark and bring him with you, for he is very useful to me for ministry. Tychicus I have sent to Ephesus” (2 Tim. 4:9-12).

Reading that, I cried out, “How pitiful—poor Paul!” He’s begging Timothy to come to him soon. He’s lonely—hear the desperation of his voice. Demas, a good friend, has not only left him but left the faith altogether! One of his mentees had abandoned all that Paul taught him. Crescens and Titus are both off in ministry, as well as Tychicus. All Paul has is Luke (and we all know how fun a doctor is for company! JK!). Paul’s so desperate that he asks for Mark, who earlier had deserted him, to come! He’ll go on to talk about how this guy Alexander treated him so poorly and how in that trial, in the “lion’s mouth,” in the midst of fierce opposition…no one stood by him. All deserted him, just as all had deserted his Lord on the eve of His death. Not one of the twelve stood by Jesus and not one of Paul’s mentees did either!

I hope after all this that won’t be said of you and your mentees. But the fact of the matter is that you need to prep them for this kind of life. A lonely life. Life in the ministry is not a cakewalk—it’s a long series of tears! People will abandon your church regularly. Worse yet, they’ll betray you! The ones you counsel will accuse you of unlawful deeds. You may be sued, threatened, or mocked publicly by papers and politicians. It’s happening now, and it’s not likely to stop—but only get worse! From Kentucky to Kadikoy, Turkey, it’s happened and will continue to.

Are you preparing your mentor for this life? Are you showing him by example to so live as to be able to look back on a life of ministry and say with Paul, “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith” (vs. 7). No matter who fights against me, a disgruntled former member or a federal judge, I will fight the good fight. No matter what hurdles come my way, be they an unfaithful spouse or spiteful child, I will finish the race. No matter what tempts me to give up, whether deceitful desires or a death threat, I WILL KEEP THE FAITH.

Paul was telling Tim this to prepare him. Ministry is tough. You do that to—don’t make it sound too glorious, too romantic. Tell your mentee what you’ve gone through—show them how tough it is. Tell them how many lonely nights you’ve had, where not even your wife knew what you were going through. Explain to them how awful it feels to be deserted on the other side of the world. Tell them how to keep going in faith…in a prison cell.

But don’t stop there!

Finish majestically as Paul did and remind them…

“But the Lord stood by me and strengthened me, so that through me the message might be fully proclaimed and all the Gentiles might hear it. So I was rescued from the lion’s mouth. The Lord will rescue me from every evil deed and bring me safely into his heavenly kingdom. To him be the glory forever and ever. Amen” (vs. 17-18).

-M@

Fan the Flames

Tip #10: Encourage Them (2 Tim. 1:3-14).

Camping in the wilderness of Colorado was one of my best memories growing up. We camped mainly in an area known as “Dead Man’s Road”—a charming name for a charming section of state forest that was free game to anyone who wanted to camp there. All you had to do was find a spot with a fire ring (or build one yourself) and set up shop for a night or two of no toilets, no showers, and no electricity (unless you’re one of those wimps who bring an RV). We had our favorite spot—we called it “Grandview,” because of the beautiful vista it sat on, looking across to what we called “Vader Mountain” for its similarity to the Sith Lord (I don’t think that’s what the Native-Americans called it). Well, about midday, when the morning’s fire had died down to just embers, we decided to go exploring, assured that not even the local bear would want to steal our lawn chairs or tents.

But when we returned, another type of thief had been at work: the wind. That vista had been visited by a strong gust, which knocked one of our chairs into the fire pit. That same wind also “stirred up” those embers so that the chair was a mere skeleton of its former glory when we returned. It was one of our favorite chairs too…

Paul uses that word picture of fanning flames in the beginning of his second letter to his mentee Timothy. In chapter 1, verses 6-7, he says, “For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God, which is in you through the laying on of my hands, for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control.”

Paul had started the letter by reminding Timothy of his history—of the faith of his Granny Lois and mom Eunice which had led little Timmy to Christ. With that background in mind, he tells Timothy to become an arsonist—to fan into a blazing flame the gift of God in his life. Paul had recognized Tim’s future talent many years before, when he recruited him in Lystra. Now, some years later, he was still encouraging him to work on that gift—to stir it up to greater deeds of faith. Why?

Well, apparently Timothy struggled like a lot of us do…with a lack of courage. Perhaps he was a little shy and did not take readily to the bold street-corner preaching of the Apostle Paul. Perhaps sharing the Gospel or encouraging a wayward congregation did not come naturally to Timothy. But he still had a gift. God had given him an ability beyond his own and also an opportunity in Ephesus to preach and lead—and he was to blow hard on that talent until it burst into a forest fire!

Paul goes on to tell him not to be ashamed of the testimony of Christ or of Paul himself, now a prisoner of Rome. He spoke of the One Who by grace saved us out of death’s grasp and then turned to give death the death blow. How could we be ashamed of such a Savior? Paul declares boldly in verse 12, “I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me.”

And he wanted Tim to have that same boldness. He told him to follow his example and be perfectly willing to suffer for the Gospel. Which begs the question—can you say the same to your mentee? Can you urge him to be bold for the Gospel, even if it means jail time—which is looking increasingly likely in modern-day America (just ask Kim Davis)? Can you show him a good example of someone who’s bold in their faith, without that spirit of fear that grips so many?

I hope you can. If so, then the next step is to encourage your mentee. By and large, he’ll probably grow up in a country that is a lot different than the one you’ve known. Persecution is not a patient beast. It’s coming fast and furiously through the halls of our courts and Congress. Are you preparing your mentee to meet that beast face on? Are you showing him what it’s like to live in such an environment? Are you investing in the next generation—because we so desperately need it! Oh, we’re going to face things that are SO tough—fear and discouragement like no generation before has ever faced! And we’re not ready for it…

We so desperately need older people to show us the way ahead in these trying days. We need to see Boomers and Xers standing up for God. We need encouragement to go on for Him. The persecution may not come in your lifetime, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be concerned about it. Because it most certainly will in the next. What are you doing to encourage millennials to face it?

This week, do something with a millennial to help fan their gifts into brighter flames for God that rage against the darkness of this world. Be that spark in a young life today.

-M@

Debbie Despisers

Tip #9: Commend Them (1 Tim. 4:12-16).

            Commend is not a word we use very often these days. When you hear it, you probably think of some gallant knight turning to his fellow after the battle and saying, “Hark! I commend thee for thy great skill with thy lance and thy shield!”

            Well, I asked my good friend Mr. Webster and he told me it meant: “to recommend as worthy of confidence or notice.” It’s different from complimenting, which is often done privately between two people. To commend someone means to praise them publicly.

And that’s what Paul likes to do in his letters for those whom he sends to deliver his letter or help a church. And for no one does he do it more joyfully than for Timothy (as we saw last week in Philippians 2). But in 1 Timothy 4:12, he goes a step further when he says, “Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity.”

Now we come to it. Perhaps the passage that you most expected me to refer to in this study. Probably the most familiar. What is Paul doing in this verse? Well, “let no one despise” is not actually a command to Timothy. It’s this weird thing that happens in other languages that doesn’t happen in English—a third-person command. It’s when you’re talking to someone and tell them that you are commanding someone else outside the conversation to do something. So Paul is literally commanding people (likely those in the Ephesian church) to not despise Timothy’s youthfulness—but he’s telling it to Timothy. It’d be like if I were talking to you and said, “Let my girlfriend go buy me Starbucks!” It’s a little weird—what can Timothy do about that? He could report to the men in his church that Paul commanded them that—and likely he did.

But I think Paul is emphasizing something. He’s telling Timothy not to worry about what other people think—the fact that some doubt his qualifications for ministry due to his age. He can’t control their responses—he can only control himself. So he was not to focus on the “Debbie despisers” and instead focus on living an exemplary life—in everything he said, did, loved, had a passion for, believed in, and thought about.

How does this connect to you and your mentee? Well, first of all, don’t “despise” their youthfulness! Don’t doubt their ability just because they are young. Young people throughout history have done extraordinary things. David killed Goliath. Daniel stood up to Nebuchadnezzar. And Fatih Sultan Mehmet conquered the city of Constantinople and killed all the Christians when he was only 21! Okay, maybe that’s not a good example, but you get my point…

And also, don’t let others in your assembly “despise” their youth. Teach your congregation to respect young men training for the ministry. Teach your older people to seek to mentor the younger, not belittle them.

Paul continued in 1 Timothy 4:  ^“Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine. Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all. Take heed to yourself and to the doctrine. Continue in them, for in doing this you will save both yourself and those who hear you.”

Paul is full of commands here for Timothy to focus on. He wants him to give himself entirely to the work of faithful ministry—and then his progress will be there for all to see and no one will be able to belittle them. Paul urges him to continue so he may see fruit. This is all part of a private encouragement which we will discuss next week.

But Paul was commending Timothy to those in his church. He was commanding them to respect him just as he was commanding Timothy to live a life of respect. Are you doing that with your mentee? Are you urging others to see his “gift” and support him? When he graduates or moves on, will you be the number one reference on his resume? Will you recommend churches to hire him? Will you call your pastor friends and encourage them to support him as he goes on the mission field?

Questions to consider as you consider how to commend your Timothy. Don’t let the “Debbie despisers” get the better of you.

-M@

Mini-You

Tip #8: Send Them (Phil. 2:19-22).

I’ve always wanted a mini-me. You know—a little underling that can do my every bidding. Maybe even a clone of myself! In fact, sometimes I get a little jealous of you older ministry men who have your own “administrative assistants” (the politically correct way of saying “secretary”). I need an administrative assistant for my everyday life! Someone to fix me breakfast, do my laundry, remind me of my dentist appointments…oh wait, that’s my Mom!

Did you know Paul had an administrative assistant? No, he didn’t perceive him as a “mini-Paul” or underling. He treated him with great respect and deployed him to great effect in the churches he had planted. His name was Timothy—yeah, the guy we’ve been focusing on this whole series! But let’s put it in reverse and go back to before Paul wrote him two letters—to the times before he was pastor at Ephesus, when he acting as Paul’s messenger around the Mediterranean.

On three occasions in Scripture, Paul writes to a church and tells them that he has or will send Timothy to them—in 1 Corinthians 4:17, 1 Thessalonians 3:2, and Philippians 2:19-22. Boy, this guy must’ve had a lot of frequent flyer miles when he was working for Paul! You see, Paul had a nasty habit of getting arrested or detained. Or just busy on the other side of the world! You know how that goes. He, like many of you older pastors, had a tight schedule—his whole life was ministry, and he had made many contacts. But contacts take time to develop into converts. In small part, you know what his life was like: the hectic demands of ministry. Paul couldn’t do everything, and he didn’t have a clone.

But he did have a Timothy. Let’s focus in on Philippians 2:19-22: “But I trust in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you shortly, that I also may be encouraged when I know your state. For I have no one like-minded, who will sincerely care for your state. For all seek their own, not the things which are of Christ Jesus. But you know his proven character, that as a son with his father he served with me in the gospel.”

Do you feel Paul’s frustration? Maybe you’ve had similar thoughts—“Man, there’s just nobody who’s doctrinally sound whom I could trust to take over this ministry for me. There’s nobody qualified to fill the pulpit for me. All these millennials are seeking their own things and not Jesus!”

Wrong! God is raising up millennials—probably in your very church!—whom you can train. Sure, they may not be qualified right now, but they sure can be—with your help! Perhaps you can’t trust them with big things yet, but as you invest in them, your trust will grow as they show themselves dependable. Maybe there’s a young man in your church right now who’s been faithfully serving in the children’s ministry or some other task and has shown that he has “proven character.” Invest in him! Send him out to help you in the ministry!

Paul sent Timothy on hard tasks. He didn’t just train him—he gave him practical opportunities to exercise his new knowledge. After all, he sent him to Corinth, to the most unruly and rebellious church! Paul sent him into tough situations because he knew he could count on him. Timothy had “proven” himself. Why? Because Paul had invested years and years into the young man.

If you feel overwhelmed by your responsibilities, maybe that’s a good thing. If you feel you have too much on your plate…maybe you do! Maybe God’s trying to tell you to fork some of your responsibilities over onto a young man who’s starving from a lack of practical opportunities to exercise what he’s learning. Bible college is great—but if ministry training isn’t accompanied by ministry doing, it’s a bunch of hogwash. The problem I see is a lack of older men giving young men opportunities to practice their gifts, not a lack of millennial eagerness.

So send out a millennial. Send them to a hospital bed, to a pulpit, to a retreat, to a speaking engagement, to a visitor’s house. You can be his ministry Dad and watch God make him into your ministry son.

Not a mini-you. But a mini-Christ.

-M@

Goooooo

Tip #7: Be Supportive (1 Tim. 3:14-15)

“Whooooo-hooooo! Goooooo Chargers!” Such were the cries coming from the sidelines at a volleyball match. You would’ve thought this guy had never been to a sports game before. You would’ve thought he had an unending voice box and no max volume. With his thick Western accent, he crooned and cawed at his team—the team my sister’s team was playing against. So not only was he cheering the other team, but he was also extremely vociferous in doing so—if you catch my drift. This is the kind of guy you don’t want to invite to your Super Bowl party. “Nice hit! Nice serve! It’s okay—you’ll get it next time! Gooooo Chaaaaaargers!”

Now, if you tried doing that at your mentoring sessions, it probably wouldn’t work so well. If every time your mentee says something good or shows signs of growth you yell, “Woot-woot!”…then you probably won’t have very many mentees (millennials also don’t like to be embarrassed in a Starbucks). But there is a sense in which you should be cheering on your mentee. Not vocally—but just with your simple presence.

I mean by being your mentee’s biggest fan. Now, I know that’s their parents’ job. The mom is supposed to yell hysterically from the stands when her “baby” gets fouled while the Dad’s supposed to stand up and play Donald Trump to the ref. And you shouldn’t try to replace the parents. But there’s still room for you to play a supportive role as a mentor. If you want to build trust with the millennial generation, one sure-fire way is to be their fan.

What will that look like? Well, it doesn’t mean you’re out to boost their ego, like many worldly wise guys may suggest you do. “Tell them they’re awesome. Call them the greatest.” Blah blah blah…

But it does look kinda like what Paul did with Timothy. In 1 Timothy 3:14-15, Paul told his young mentee, “Although I hope to come to you soon, I am writing you these instructions so that,  if I am delayed, you will know how people ought to conduct themselves in God’s household, which is the church of the living God, the pillar and foundation of the truth.”

Paul was writing this first letter because he didn’t know when he’d get a chance to come see Timothy in Ephesus, and he wanted to make sure he taught him how to train the church members. Paul was passionate about training young men for ministry—he longed to go visit Timothy and teach him in person (the preferred way). But since he could not, he had to settle for second-best—a long letter. Paul understood the importance of supporting his young mentee. He didn’t send him out on his own with no help as he pastored this hefty assembly. No, he wanted to provide all the ammunition young Timothy might need.

And so should you. Support your mentee. If they are competing in some competition, particularly if it has to do with the ministry (Bible quiz or the like), then you better be there with bells on! You could even help them prepare for that—what a great job for the mentor. Or, if they are going to be teaching or preaching for the first time, try to be there in the audience, smiling back. And afterward, be sure to come up to them and compliment them on a job well done. Of course there will be faults that perhaps you may need to discuss—but seek to build them up and remain as positive as possible.

Even if they are playing a sports game, what better way to show you care than to show up and cheer them on (just don’t do it too loudly or too often!). Who knows? Perhaps Paul surprised Timothy by being in the stadium audience when he went out to compete in a chariot race. “Gooooo Timothy!!!!” Or maybe not…

-M@